Self reflection of a 20 year old something or other

I Promise Im Trying.

My name is Dylan, I'm 20 years old with next to nothing to show for it. I work at a struggling record store, and I attempt to participate in community college and struggle at that. I wake up feeling physically awful most days, a trait that continues until I go to sleep again. I realize I'm not alone in these feelings, of isolation, alienation, depression, feeling lost or hopeless, a neverending fear of adulthood. I spend most days anxious about what I'm doing, what I need to do, how those things will play out, and if I'll be able to sustain myself and live a semi-normal life. A life that frees me of the never-ending sorrow that is modernity. I really want to be happy, I know in my heart I am a happy person. There's just so much weight and baggage from everything now, I feel completely burned out all the time. I have this cloud in my chest and a plate that weighs about 10 tons. Same with my head, and my brain, all my thoughts seem hazy at any point in time.

 Beginning with this sentence it's been almost a week since I wrote what, mainly out of laziness or lack of general motivation I'm not sure which! 

Im not writing this to be a whole "Oh woe is me my life is so hard I'm so sad!". I understand everyone has issues I know things are rough all over. Im sorry for anything, anyone reading is going through and I'm always more than willing to listen. I'm mainly doing this as a general detox of my head to just kind of put a semi-coherent explanation of my brain. 

Going back to the main conversation I was having before. I am not satisfied with the state of my life, in many ways, I'm just unhappy. But I am trying. I try every day to be better, to do better. I know I can be better, everyone can, and I'm going to kick and fight and scream and claw and scratch my way out of this emotional hole I've fallen into during my formative years. I know one day it will be better, it will get better for everyone. Life is peaks and valleys, and it can't be valleys forever. :) 

I appreciate anyone who reads this. I'm not anyone worth reading about, but I do appreciate you. If anyone reading this needs to talk or vent or whatever, I'm always willing. Sorry, I rambled as much as I did, it's hard to lock in sometimes. 

Thank you again <3