10/03/24

yesterday i started the book "the false white gospel" by jim wallis ; i saw it at work weeks before it went on the shelf and it caught my eye in a huge way. the book approaches white supremacy from a theological standpoint and strives to dismantle white christian nationalism, which has been a core part of the us and its ideology and cultural development since its founding and before. so far i have only gotten through the foreword, introduction, and some of the first chapter, which is basically just explaining white christian nationalism & its roots & confronting it as the chief obstacle between the people and democracy as a whole in america today. being raised in white christian tradition in childhood led me largely to view organized christianity and morality as almost mutually exclusive ; reading someone approach white supremacy with truth & confront it as it is from a theological perspective is very refreshing ; i do not subscribe to religion but it is glaringly obvious that much white christianity is a bastardization of what faith is meant to be and of jesus' teachings, the core of which are love--this book tells it like it is and is very straightforward and i have a lot of respect for it

i read this because i believe it to be true and i believe this to be a large and pressing issue ; i read this also to find a way to explain to my dad that his applications of his proclaimed faith are dead wrong if being christlike is his goal--his indoctrination & resulting transphobia & bigotry are the subject of much of my worry and much of my writing. his ideology is built entirely of hypocrisy on top of hypocrisy and he is too indoctrinated & up his own ass to see it and always has been. i am beyond personally caring what he thinks & i have never had a desire to put my energy into trying to fix him but for the sake of my younger brothers unfortunately i do have to try. if he is up to the intellectual challenge my goal is that recommending him this book will prompt him to understand his "faith" for what it is & completely rethink his practice and embrace love as a calling and a responsibility ; of course there is also the possibility and likely reality of him completely doubling down. whether he likes it or realizes it or not his ability to accept this challenge will prove once and for all, as the author puts it, if he is someone who is able to be persuaded or someone to be defeated

i was happy to receive in the mail this week something i have been excited about for a long time, the marble teeth album "top 10 times i've cried" on vinyl, seen below :

this album is wonderful ; i love it to death and i'm very excited to see it garner some well deserved recognition. top 10 times i've cried is a perfect showcase of the raw, candid expression that sets marble teeth apart as a unique & phenomenal creative voice. between the down to earth lyricism, unique & interesting instrumental palette, and engaging songwriting, all of which are fundamentally characteristic of marble teeth as a project, in a refreshingly concise run time--i think anyone would be hard pressed to have a qualm with any aspect of this album. i treasure the opportunity i've gotten to watch this entire record unfold. i'm eternally grateful to call caleb a friend and i have immense respect for him as a human being & as an artist

this week also marked the 15th anniversary of the paramore album "brand new eyes" ; it has always been my favorite of theirs by a landslide. i haven't been a frequent listener for years but i have revisited that album a couple times in the past few months, this week in celebration included, and i still remember all the words to every song, and i still notice new things to love about it

the first ds game i got when i was younger was the tinkerbell and the lost treasure movie game. i got it when i first got a ds, which was for my birthday one year ; it was a pink ds lite. the dinner was at the monicals pizza down the hill from my grandparents' house , a regular special dinner location. the monicals is long gone ; there is a crossfit there now. i remember distinctly one afternoon i left school for my flu shot , which i got at a local fairgrounds. i played that game while i was waiting, and in the car there and back. when i got back to school it was time for gym ; during gym at school was the first time other kids called me weird, i didn't care and i wasn't pretending

at the end of this month my band is playing an all noise halloween show in chicago at fallen log @ kitchen 17 with boyslut, melon sprout, and shiningyula--i am very excited and nervous and grateful and baffled as to how i've gotten to this point

i did some outside gardening work at work this week and i had toast for breakfast this morning--one slice apple butter one slice peanut butter--both of which were awesome

stay safe & be kind