fuck my stupid self who keeps wearing her heart on her sleeves

situation so bad i had to go back on spacehey to blog about it

so what happened was, 3 people in my friend group found out that i had a crush on a girl(im a girl). i was chill about it at first because who cares but then they started insisting that im a lesbian(im not)! so i kept insisting back that im not and ive only liked a girl once, all of my other past crushes are boys. however, they wont believe me so i let it slip that i currently like a guy from our university. some more stuffs and conversations happened and they found out who it was…

normally i wouldnt care if they found out BUT THAT GUY WHOM I LIKE IS A GUY IN OUR FRIEND GROUP WHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND. i wasnt really planning on doing anything, i  just wanted to interact with him and be silly thats all but 3 people from our circle found out about it and they saw the tweets i made about him !!  im not worried about one of them but im worried about the other two ESPECIALLY THE OTHER ONE because im not as close with them and they’re closer to the guy i like and im sooo nervous that they’ll tell it to someone else or even worse, to HIM

i dont really want to cause any drama, i dont want to bother him and his gf i genuinely dont want to overstep and im sooo nervous and humiliated at the thought of the guy i like knowing about my admiration for him.. i just want to get closer to him platonically and i never want him to think that im ruining his relationship because i would never

so yeah what a messy day, all because i couldn’t stop wearing my stupid heart on my sleeves