3/10/24 Rant Alert !!

it is currently 7:32PM as im starting this, and im listening to the dictator album by Scars On Broadway, currently on the song "Talkin Shit".

today was for the most part, not that exciting, but today still happened so,, i dont remember what time i woke up, maybe just before 8AM? and im now just realising i do not at all remember what i did after i woke up ._. 

I remember at some point going into the garage where my mum and wallaby usually are, (wallaby being my mums friend, he lives here lol) they were in there chatting so i sat down with them like i usually do and just kinda listened in on the convo, it wasnt a convo i could really contribute to, but i stayed anyways. they were talking about my classmates family bc they happen to do support work for them. It always feels intrusive for me to hear about everything that is happening for my classmate when i do not know him closely at all, not enough to know about his home life, but idk i stay and listen anyways anytime i happen to be there when they are chatting about it. I wont share many details about those chats, bc i understand theyre private, but i think i can share this next part as it involves me ig,,

both my classmates' parents are very religious, but despite this they both have different support for the queer community. his father being very homophobic, his mother being very against the judgement of someone for being queer. i learnt from my mother that my classmate was initionally very homophobic, as he learnt to be from his father, but after meeting me and having to spend time around me (a very queer person,,) my mum noticed that his judgment had changed and he was talking with my mum about how much he hates his church and how hes starting to realise how judgmental they are. 

idk but that feels somewhat very personal to me, it fills me with a very conflicting feeling. on one hand i feel wrong, guilty even. i feel like i, in some way, shot up the grounds of his faith for religion by just being, like i took something he had a right to believe in. But on the other hand i feel righteous and empowered. my mere existence has changed the way he views things and he seems to see just how much hate he has been taught to give. 

gosh sorry thats a much bigger rant than i was anticipating to have ヾ(￣□￣")ﾉ

apart from all that,, my day really was boring. played some card games, ate prawn crackers, took a nap, was half woken up by my mum when she was putting something on my door she bought for me to put all my plushies into (i have over 50 plushies) i woke up at some point later, dont remember what i did after i woke up,, and then actually while i was halfway through writing all this i had to go down to the shop bc wallaby was goig down and i wanted to grab more prawn crackers while i was there bc i ate them all :3

yeah anyways, since i started this at 7:32PM, but went to the shops halfway through, im now finishing this at 9:38PM lol,, Im currently listening to System Of  A Down Self Tittled album, i am on the song "Suite-Pee" and this is my blog done !

Thank you if you did read through this whole rant ily /p ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡