Tired... 💤

I am so sick and tired of the people around me

Ever look at someone and just think "wow...this person is a fucking loser." That's how I feel right now. I'm surrounded by incompetent people who rather live comfortably than accept a challenge. I tried getting my friend out of his comfort zone and each time it happened he'd go into a ptsd trick. Like if I was pressuring him. I get i am a toxic asshole, but I know I'm not that bad.

He's a friend of a friend. I only hung out with him because I felt as if I had no other choice. Like if me and her are his only friends. He has a crush on her and doesn't give a shit about me but tries to because me and her are practically sisters. I read him like a book. I wrote down all of his weaknesses on paper and slid it to him. 

"Unrealistic, self isolating, unfocused, emotionally vulnerable, desperate to please, and self critical. INFP personality with traits of Hopeless Romantic as the biggest part of it" he went quiet for the longest time....then gave me a hand for figuring him out. On top of that, he told me he couldn't stop thinking of me...like if I've trapped him in some web. He had a whole mental breakdown and lashed out on his dad because of MY perspective of him. He had a whole mental breakdown all because I told him the truth. That he's a fucking loser. I don't mean just a shy depressed little shit I mean...a loser...so much of a loser, he has one main obsession and it's plastered all over his room like a 30 year old "in my mom's basement" dweller....

I walked into his room and 

HOLY SHIT HIS ROOM IS COVERED FLOOR TO CEILING WITH WRESTLING SHIT. His closet has the same basic colored tees all with wrestling logos on them. I've mentally took note of over 600 action figures perfectly sitting in rows on this giant ass shelf that touches the floor to the ceiling. There's probably about 40 per shelf and there's like...10 shelves. Not to mention his DESK. his DRAWERS WERE STUFFED FULL AND PROBABLY WRIGHTED 10 POUNDS. HE HAS OTHER DRAWERS IN THE CORNER OF HIS ROOM STUFFED FULL. 

He tried to bond with me by copying some wrestling intro made by some duo by walking across the room with him waving to his posters if Wednesday Adam's and harley Quinn. Are you fucking serious. This is the final boss of autism. I never looked at some mama's boy and went "ohhhhh 🤭 he's a loser!!" Until that day. He was already weak as shit and a vulnerable bitch through and through. 

"Whats your opinion on me? How do you perceive me? Do you think I'm emo? Do I look emo enough?" 

Bitch...

Bitch...

Literally you just found out what half of 80s-2000s rock artists are thanks to me what the fuck do you mean are you emo...why do you ask ME that?? Do I look emo? No I'm dressed like a fucking goddess. What do you mean? Just because you wear the same shirt but in different fonts and like 6 black hoodies doesn't mean shit. 

You have a nice and loving family and you live in a nice ass house with a roof that's like 20 more feet than it should be with a giant ass wrap around backyard porch and a fucking pool....an outside tv....you grew up in the suburbs. The only trauma you can receive is either by me or the high school we both went to. No other way. It's making me vomit... then he told me he didn't want me hanging out with him because he likes our other friend (the one he crushes on) more...bro-

He full on poured his heart out to me. Talking about how he's grateful and so happy we care for him. I just nod and agree, not even looking at him. He cries to me and asks me for a hug, I tell him no. He continues to cry this blissful scene like if I gave a damn. 

"How do you perceive me?"

I just look at him 

"Are you saying this for my approval or do you really just wanna change your personality to fit ours better?"

He just shrugs. I told him to think about it and then talk to me once he figures out if he's people pleasing or not. As much as I don't enjoy his company, I do know he's just trying his first tactic at self expression. I know i don't think like everyone else and that emotions are something I'm not capable of grasping unless there's something I want. Instead of looking at him and telling him he's a fucking loser and needs to grow some balls, I at least tell him gently to figure it out on his own. It's not my issue and I don't plan on helping him with that. It's his journey and not mine. 

Not my fault you can't handle how basic and boring your life is. 

You expect change, yet you wish to stay the same forever....

Pathetic...

I would feel bad for you if I had the ability to carry sympathy. All I can do is laugh in your face and ignore your dumb ass fantasy you try to grasp so hard on. Welcome to the real world. You've been an adult for a while now. 

Anywho if you made it this far, you get 10 brownie points.