Being Negative

You know, no one ever tells you how horrible it is to have an addiction to negativity, at least, not from what I have heard. There's just something about it that makes your brain cling to it, maybe it's the stability? Being able to just know that tomorrow is gonna be the same crappy day, or the comfort in thinking you aren't gonna be around for that long. You feel free, because you know it doesn't matter anymore.

Then there's being happy. Happiness is unpredictable, you never know that it's gonna be the same day over and over again, it's always something... new. I don't like that. Being neurodivergent, maybe it makes it super hard for me to deal with change, especially every day.

I don't know what I'm saying anymore, I'm just running around and throwing words out into sentences.

There's so much I could say I guess, but I don't have the mental willpower or even cohesion of thoughts to put them down.