im so scared. im so fucking scared. i failed my life. i cant fucking talk with people. im scared to look at them. im scared of everything. im useless i cant do anything right. my brain doesnt work like it should. its broken. it feels broken. no matter how old i was it was like that. i feel so stressed about everything. im so fucking stupid. i hate it. after school i wont be able to find any friends not even talking about partner or any other bullshit. i probably wont ever be able to transition. i will be alone and stuck in this fucking body looking like some shitty excuse of a human. im scared. i dont want tomorrow to come. i dont want anything to come. im too scared. i lose everything. i will probably give up potencial foreign internships from school because im too scared. im like some scared kid. im scared that people will look at me and i cat stop thinking about it. i couldnt even play with other kids when i was a kid. i always felt like i couldnt do anything. i was scared that i didnt get anything and i was right. im too fucking stupid to get anything. i dont know how to talk to people i always say too much and i bore them or i just make fucking embarassment out of myself. i will end up alone. my mom was right i wont ever be likeable enough to be liked by people around me. im just too rude and i dont know what to do. i hate it. i dont know why is it like that. i cant focus on anything. i cant do anything. i cant. i fucking cant. im useless. if things dont go as i planneddfdf i get all stressd and dont knw what to do. im fucking stupid. i hate this fucking life. i wish i was just born myself. pretty and clueless about this fucking world. i hate it so much. i would be dead years ago if i wasnt scared. but im scared of being alone too. people that i talk with are not even good people i just dont have anyone else. i hate it. after school i will be all alone and i hat e it. im scared. and nothing can help me anymore

i will die alone and im scared of it
0 Kudos
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
CasperPrime
reading this is like looking in a mirror
i understand everything you wrote on a very personal level. in my senior year now and im a massive wreck of a human being who's too scared to do anything and it feels like i've wasted my entire life and now whatever happens after school will be terrible/nonexistent.
as i dont want anyone to have this type of problem too, im glad im not all alone in these feelings, hope we will both get better
by taheeo; ; Report
Ur def not alone, when I read that it also felt like I was looking into a mirror, but shouldn’t that make you feel better? Knowing that there’s other ppl out there that relate to you and understand where ur coming from? That means ur not crazy and that nothings wrong with you. Tbh, somethings wrong with everyone else they just make it seem like it’s a you problem when it’s really not, it’s cruel how much ppl want u to lose and suffer but it’s also rewarding and reassuring knowing that if you keep pushing forward you get to meet like minded people who gone and feel the same way you do. You are NOT alone in this. Never ever ever ever ever no matter what anyone says, idc if a sentient being from the heavens above literally told u that you’ll die alone and that it’s you bc ts isn’t true at all man. Nothing is wrong with you. Ppl just suck.
by Dr★ana; ; Report