Vent(?

I felt like I needed to post this, it just came to my mind

This year has been my happiest year so far, I got new friends and there was a few moments that I felt like there was nothing wrong with me and that I did belong. And it felt good. 

Also, at the start of year I changed myself, mostly my appearance, so I could fit in more. My clothing style, hairstyle, makeup, everything.  Anything that would make me feel less isolated. 

But now I don't feel like myself anymore 

This year I had happy moments, I just wish I didn't have to give up on my identity in order to have them

((English is not my first language, sorry if I made any mistake))