⋆˚✿˖°sep 27 2024⋆˚✿˖°

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okay so its technically the 28th but its only 12 so its close enough! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ 

my day was GREAT!!!!! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) I got so drunk today and I've been in such a talkative mood! I've been chatting with my homies all day about fandom stuff lol! I had so many drawing ideas today! I didn't draw them yet but I worked a bit more on my webcomic! (gonna post it on webtoon when its done, if it ever gets done which I hope it does, ill make it happen.)

but what's EVEN BETTER is that I found some really really awesome pills called Focalin RX! its like adderall so I am so IN THE ZONE RIGHT NOWWW im locked the fuck in. its been over 7 months since I last did uppers and omfg I forgot how much I missed this feeling, I love not feeling the need to sleep or eat for days, its such a waste of time to me (coming from someone who bed rots all day)

im prolly gonna stay up for 1-2 days maybe not eat either, ive been thinking about joining ED twitter but usually whenever im losing weight the most its always whenever I stop tracking it so ima just let it be, also the skinnier I am the less fat I have to work with for cutting (less surface area) and that kinda sucks lol.

I miss my twin brother. even if he beat me and assaulted me 

sorry random thought ^^ lol

I also had a great cutting session today! took some cute videos and they're on my twitter!! I got some cute styros ≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼ gonna go deeper but I wanna call my friend while I draw or something so I gotta hurry! I swear when ur on uppers time flies so fast yet you feel like u didn't do anything but u actually did do a lot lol. 

I don't think I have particularly bad anxiety, I mean I can't right? cuz I do love stimulants so much and I don't really get anxious lol 

ive been stressed today, no matter how much I drink or smoke or how many pills I take, im never drunk or high enough. I don't know how long it'll take to accept the fact I have a problem. I tell people I have a problem but I only say that because I know im supposed to.

im just glad I get to post here, I hope someone can read what I say and think "ive thought the same thing" I feel like being alone is the most scary thing ever, so you may be in a dark hole, but at least were in it together. at least we can hold hands.

anyways

-Jenny ᯓ★

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