First blog.... yeaaaahhh fuck yeah woohoooooo

Well, i doubt anyone's gonna read this, so ill probably just write a bit about my life and forget about it, and someday, someone will use this to blackmail me or something. So basically, i decided i wasnt able to go to school (once again) because i guess my brain just decided that i suddenly cared about not talking to anyone there, uggghhh, why?? i was fine last year, why? why is it so hard for me to talk to people??? god why am i like this? whatever fuck it, i guess ill just go back to my country on november, move to my dad's home, work, study or something, just decide what ill do with my life, i think its for better or for worse, time to "ground" myself, make a decition, idk, im kinda scared, what if i dont wanna go to college?? what will my dad think about that? will he make me chose a career?? will i be able to go to uni for free??, will i be able to make friends, feel less anxious??
FUCK, fuck, i hate this, well, i will keep on going, thats all i know, and i know my parents will love me even if they dont completely support my decitions, i wish i could be independent soon, before i turn 25 preferably, and i wanna be able to focus on art too. i dont wanna work at a job i hate until i can quit and become a full time grandpa. whatever, this has dragged on for too long, ill see what ill do with my life, bye 4 now lol.