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yap sesh

cw: comphet behaviour LOL XD

let me tell you about my limerence and bordeline insane obsession on a boy. like, a real, present boy, not some two dimensional work of fiction i hallucinated into existence. man it was crazy.

imagine a chronically online kid, lowkey manic with how poor their emotional regulation was enrolled up in offline school after YYYEEEEAARRRRSSSS. kind of trauma dumping here, which, so not mysterious and cool of me. and not very safe. don't do this guys- as for me, that was a whole different person in the past, okay? im peak mental stability compared to that guy now, because time really do heal wounds, and whatever.

continuing with the story. and just fyi. it gets worse. (shocker)

WITHOUT getting into the embarassing details, (bcs i have a sense of dignity,) let's just say i developed some kind of crush on this guy and obsessed over him a cringeworthy amount.  i made playlists. playLISTS, plural. they go on for at most an hour but its all basically the same songs over and over with something new every five repeats of songs. one of the songs were.

yk what you might be able to guess. cold apes, uhhh brow pants....i'll...link it. totally. yep.

ohhhh my god past me were so silly. it's a miracle i haven't puked my guts out through all of that because despite my obsession i HATED liking men. and almost every interaction i had with him gets progressively worse each time with me wanting to impress him but also not wanting ppl to catch on. what in goodness was i taking fr.

but thankfully i realized i don't even want him lol, i'm just trying to b frens w him or at least apologize for things i said and done. moral of the story is don't make developing unhealthy obsessions a habit.  and try to get to know what you're going thru better, bcs in the end it's only u that matters bby <3


-love, veen


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