terrible thoughts chasing me. I want to destroy them

                                  PHILOSOPHICAL REVELATIONS AND EMOTION

I dont want to constantly run away, I want to destroy these terrible thoughts once and for all and defy all logic. defy all religions, all principles and morals that point to the concept of the inevitable i want the destruction of these chaotic evil thoughts, spewing from every direction. It doesnt just 



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i was interrupted with something delightful and that something is love, it's an everything, not a something. Theres something very...calming about this website and it's not just the niche aspect to it and the format that makes me feel like i'm typing on a clanky computer in the 80s. Yeah, im pretty sure it's something that'll make Gen X laugh 


anyways....

I have some issues with my throat chakra, I think I always have and when I say always I (think) i am being literal. 

I want the destruction and.


i was interrupted again but my thoughts are just way too unorganized, way too rapid, to zero 


ok...

i wrote that 3 days ago 

then i got to a part in a book that reaffirmed a philosophy i've been (trying) to k=live by for years and that book is called God Is Dead 

"(...) our dear pitying friend. He merely wishes to help and does not take into account the fact that we have a personal need for unhappiness; that terror, deprivation, impoverishment, midnights of the soul, adventures, risks and mistakes are as necessary to you and me as their opposites; -

indeed that, to speak mystically, the way to one's own heaven always leads through the voluptuousness of one's own hell. -

if you are not willing to endure your own suffering even for an hour, and are always trying to avoid every unhappy experience you can, if you generally regard pain and sorrow as evil, as detestable, as deserving of destruction, as a blot on existence- well then, besides your religion of pity, you have yet another religion in your heart (which is perhaps the mother of the former): the religion of comfortableness. -

Oh how little you know about human happiness, you comfortable and good-natured people-for happiness, you comfortable and good-natured people-for happiness and unhappiness are sisters and twins which grow tall together, or, in your case, remain small together." (Nietzsche p.103-104) 



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