Lock in

I'm too relaxed bro. I should be studying, I gotta lock in.

I have this way of dealing with anxiety that almost nullifies it. I think less of things, so I don't feel pressured to worry about them. I gotta find a balance in that. Sure it's good to be confident, but in thinking less of things I don't prepare for them. And being unprepared feels... well, I don't feel it, so I never take action.

But once in a while life gives me reminders that I gotta lock in. And sometimes I do.
Then I forget again...

I don't like depending on others very much. But in the end it's me who doesn't take action and needs to be saved in the end.

I am a very lucky person... A spoiled person

Constantly taking the least painful routes, too afraid to try things or be responsible.

A hypocrite.

I don't like hypocrisy. That's rich! I'm being a hypocrite in dreading hypocrisy.

I'm not all bad though, I have plenty of great qualities. I'm not gonna just complain about myself. I will make a change, as many times as it takes. And hopefully, now that I identified this issue, I won't forget.