things arent so bad

im in this music club thing that provides a place where each term, you can go up and learn an instrument and song, but the only catch is that you have to perform it at the end of the term. its a new program that got introduced this year and last term was my first time participating in it. when i looked at the photos from that day i remember being rlly stiff and nervous, no matter how much i loved the songs i was playing and no matter how much fun i was having, i was shit scared of messing up in front of so many people and i didnt even wanna think about what i would do in a situation like that. 

yesterday, i had my performance for this term, and i think i can happily say that i have improved. the songs i played were girlfriend (avril lavigne), cough syrup (young the giant), careless whisper (george michael), and forget you (ceelo green), all in which i played electric guitar in.

my first song started off pretty strong, my band knew that song rlly well cuz we'd started learning it since the term before. in the song we had my guitar, bass, drums and vox (i also got my own mic for back up vocals! twas actually pretty sick) and for a while i was going pretty good, and it helped that my friends in the crowd were hyping us up. however, sometime during the second verse as i was playing, my guitar sounded funny so when i looked down at my strings, i found that my high e string had snapped on me. later i would find that my teacher expected this was gonna happen, something about us having an outdoor gig, the weather being warm and myself tuning with all these factors in place. so when i realized what had happened, i did my best not to panic and just continue playing. i looked up at the group of music kids in front of me tho and when of my good friends in that group made eyes with me, both of us trying not to laugh, and soon the whole bunch of them started realizing what was happening, and so did my teacher apparently because soon he started walking over and helping me swap my guitars for the last verse. other than that, the song went rlly well, it was the perfect opener and it really got the crowd excited.

my second song was alright. this song actually had a lot of significance to me because me and my vocalist for this song had been friends since we started high school, and during our first year, we use to play music together during breaks and this was one of those songs. before the song i remember her telling me that she was nervous which kinda made me worry too but knowing her, i was confident we were gonna be okay. and we pretty much were. one of my favourite parts of that song was during this rest where she wasnt singing, she looked at me and i started walking over to her, then she turned to me with her bass and we both started playing to each other until she had to return for the last chorus. i really think we did that song justice. 

third song was total ass. i thought i was pretty ok cuz i was just consistently playing the exact same four chords but our sax guy had no idea when to come in, drums were a bit bland (no hate ig) and we were running on one rehearsal that didnt even have the only band. bass guy was holding us together tho, came in and played by ear, fucking legend of a kid. 

however i was rlly happy with our last song. forget you was the shows closer and even tho my hand was cramping like hell the energy helped me push through it. our teacher ended up getting on bass for it and my friend ended up doing background vox + tambourine to support our two vocalists and i think it really just tied together the piece. at the end of the song myself, bass and drums did that thing where you build up and smash that last chord/note/crash and it was fucking AWESOME. it made me feel really good for some reason, like i had finally made it or smth.

i think this performance has really boosted my confidence and helped me fall back in love with performing. before this year i was stuck in dance and my life had barely anything to do with my passion for music. being able to relearn my love for being on stage and doing things that i love genuinely feels quite healing, and im so excited to continue pursuing my love for this.

times are changing, xo robbie