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i hope this does not come off as extremely parasocial of me to say any of what i;m about to say, but i’d really love to meet toby fox and pick his brain over tea or something…. Not in like a “OMGGG… I WANT TO MEET THE COOL AND POPULAR BIGSHOT WHO MADE UNDERTALE” way, because even though Yeah, that’s cool and all that he did that, undertale is the shit and so is deltarune, that fact doesn’t really get me bouncing off the walls. What DOES though is that he worked super fucking hard at something he wanted to make and made it happen. not just with coding, but music and writing too. I’d love to hear more of the personal end on the development journey for his games, if he ever struggled with motivation or was tempted to give up, the latter Especially while he was developing undertale. The amount of drive he has is really inspiring. Any time i see somebody who’s pursuing their goals like that i get inspired. But it’s a double-edged sword, because sometimes it makes me doubt myself, like maybe i just don’t have the right stuff in me to do that, like my upbringing or genetics have in some way set in stone the fact that i can’t achieve the same, or that because i didn’t grow up making rom hacks, or music, or whatever, that it just wasn’t something i was meant to do, because if it was, why haven’t i been doing it already……? I know that’s bullshit but when is fear like that ever rational. I dunno. Sometimes It’s easy to imagine that Just based on the result toby fox woke up one day and was like, hell yeah i’m doing this, and then cooked it all out without ever doubting himself once. Maybe that is the truth, who knows ??
thoughts on toby fox
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Lemmingsishard
I am sure that Toby Fox struggled at points when making undertale. I would say with complete confidence that he did since all game devs struggle at points, whether you are making the most basic flash game, or are John Carmack making DOOM, you will struggle at points. That is just part of the process. When you here about people making great things like Linux, DOOM, Undertale, Build Engine, Etc. and then hear about how young they were when they started programming (this can be anything not just programming), and then feel discouraged that you haven't done anything great, just remember, plenty of programmers start past 18. The best example in my eyes is Grace Hopper, the creator of COBOL.
That's super cool. I didn't know about Grace Hopper or what COBOL even was before you left me this comment. Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes It's hard to remember that the people who produce these seemingly larger-than-life works are also people who struggle with self doubt, procrastination, etc, and weren't always as skilled as they were. Which is funny, because I'm an artist who knows verbatim that everybody starts somewhere. I know it's my pride that makes me hold these higher standards for myself, and my pride that keeps me from trying new things because of all the failure that's guaranteed to come with learning. I'm chipping away at that, though. Vigorously. I'm determined to fail forward as much as possible this coming year, and all the following years.
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