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Landsberg has mentioned the BJT the basic joy test. A test to gauge your day, his is the first sip of coffee. I've tried this, but everything I just lose interest in.
Today I had that feeling that I should just stay in bed. This will be my test, dies the simple act of waking up fill me with content? If so, good day ahead. If not, medicate immediately and intensely. Rest, body, and brain. Stay in the now, only what's happening now matters.
I must always be conscious of the fact, this is a process, a very long process. There is a goal, however, there is no timetable for this. We are all doing our best, no one is perfect, so I should not be upset that I am not perfect. So many things that happened over the past 40 years have guided my path. I finally realize that I have control over my path and my path only.
It's been a rough morning. I forgive myself for failing today.
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