[09.24.24] gender rant

I wish I was a boy so much. I don't know I don't think it really matters anyway, but I just. wish I was maybe a guy y'know. like I would be less awkward, more comfortable as a guy, I think people would like me more if I was a guy arghh I don't know. I hate being a girl so much, everytime someone refers to me as a girl or she I want to rip my skin off. Ik its not their fault bc I'm not really an androgynous person and I don't really correct people but still. I hate pictures of myself I hate looking in the mirror because WHY AM I GIRL!!! arghghghgh I think my parents would be happier if I was born a boy too. I don't know. I hate my voice I hate my body because constantly everybody comments on it. like I don't mind I don't care but also I do but also if someone does it its fiiiine. I DONT KNOW!!! I wish I was a guy so sososo bad but I feel like not it doesn't even matter and I just have to accept that I'm stuck like this forever and ever. but also. I don't.

like I feel like I don't care but I do but idk its hard to explain. I tell people that I don't mind being seen as a girl, and I never correct anyone. but also I just feel this sense of dread whenever someone calls me a girl idkidkidk. grrr I hate this i wish I was normal, ew that sounds edgy. but still. idk I hate pictures of me, seeing me in the mirror I hate it all grrrr I'm gonna rip all my skin off.

also also I don't ever blame anyone for calling me a girl, its my fault anyway. 

sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm just rambling.