the past year has been a bit hectic. i lost a house, moved in with my abusive aunt, then had to basically run away to states away. "run away" sounds a lil weird because I'm 23, but that's what it feels like.
i was living with my sister and my nieces, we had a house together basically gifted to us by her dad (she was adopted into another family but we're still blood siblings it's complicated). things were going great, then she got back with her horrible husband and i lost everything. i could only move in with my aunt at the time, and she's known to be shitty to some people but she's never been that bad to me. i guess after she realized i didn't move in to be a maid and do everything for her, she kind of hated me.
later realized she's a manipulator. only left me alone cuz i was the baby of the family at the time. she's 40 something, and wants to be taken care of-which i guess i wouldn't have minded but she's an abusive bitch. she had a boyfriend at the time who was a retired veteran, and he was disabled because of a back injury he got on deployment. tl;dr she'd call you lazy if you had both legs broken and couldn't walk. i didn't think she was that bad until i fully moved in with her.
i really spent half a year with her debating on if i wanted to keep going. i didnt have to take care of anyones kids anymore, and getting abused by her every day really just fucked me up again. what finally pushed me to go was when she almost killed me with a bug bomb. if you don't know what those are, they're these little canisters full of toxic chemicals that you set off in infested houses and it can take a day or more to air out. nothing living is supposed to enter the house after and you're supposed to wear masks when airing it out. i've got asthma and bad lungs in general too, so i physically couldn't help with that at all.
i didn't even know she was setting one off until afterwards. she apparently got bedbugs from her daughters house, but it was only in her side of the house. we didn't have carpet or anything and she didn't go into my room ever, so i didn't have them. at the time i was also working 10 hour shifts at a department store, and she deadass told me to not help her because it could spread to the rest of the house.
one morning on my day off, knowing that i sleep late since i would work late and had insomnia so sometimes i slept until noon, she woke me up at 5am and set it off. she didn't tell me until after she set it off, and just left. took the care and left for the day, knowing i had no where else to go.
i almost fell back asleep because you know, first thing in the morning no one is coherent and i didnt even process what had happened until it reached my room. it was 40'F out and storming all day, i didnt eat, couldnt even go to the bathroom and had to sit on the porch until she got back later that night. i grabbed my inhaler and stuff so that was good, but the asthma attack led to a small panic attack and the weather made it worse. when she got back i was like wtf is wrong with you i almost choked in there and she basically said good.
then got mad that i wouldnt help her with the rest of her stuff. the next day she started threatening to sell the house and throw me on the street or burn everything with us in it. then she packed up and left for a few weeks, and i really was about to snap. luckily an online friend offered to let me stay with them, and within the week i was gone. didn't tell anyone, left behind pretty much everything (again), and left to move across the country.
i havent talked to her since. i dont know if she kept anything or threw it out. sometimes i want to ask, because i packed it all up in boxes and bags anyways. but if i talk to her i know itll go south and then she'll go back to the rest of the bloodline talking about how awful i am. she's one of those "post about it on facebook but never speak to the person to work things out" type of people.
now ive been here for about 6 months. my roommate and i are working on buying a house because our rent was raised and paying off a house is honestly cheaper in this area. it's a process, and now we're behind on a lot of bills so we might not get it. trying not to stress about it now though, it is what it is.
doing better now tho! aside from money struggles, im getting some doctor stuff settled, finally got healthcare and stuff. gonna try and get on testosterone and get my mental health straight this year and next year. imma try and be active on the old stuff i used to like doing, like spacehey and old games i loved. got a new job as a barista again, hopefully it works out.
got art commissions open too, gonna try and do streaming and practice video editing and such on the side. it'll take a while, but i'm definetely doing better now.
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