Chat.. I have a question

I legit got insulted by a friend.

Bro told me I write my blogs like a 20yr old man DD:

No I don't. Do I? I'm gonna cry. Please tell me or I will start eating my kidneys.

They called me 'unc' and I'm pretty sure that's an insult. I'll treat it as a compliment anyway LOL

Do I have to use modern day slang like, 12 times per sentence? 

I'm gonna crash out. PLEASE tell me. I'm gonna start breakdancing