BIRTJDAY

UGHHHH ITS BEEN SO LONG sorry. i haven't been active because my mental health has been a bit worse but as of about half an hour ago i am officially 18! its a huge milestone!!!!!!! im so happy and proud of myself for having made it this far as intact as i am! 

tomorrow im going out for dinner with the same friend i had over a few weeks ago. im going to my favorite restaurant!!! it's going to be suuuuuper fun im sure. 

im probably not going to get much from my parents for my birthday, which is typical, but it hurts because this is such an important birthday for me. oh well. i dont need them and i dont think that they really know enough about me to get me anything :/ which is kind of my fault

but i did send my dad the wttbp music video to watch because i wanted to connect with him for once and show him something that meant a lot to me and he didnt even watch the whole thing. i could hear it from my room and he got about 30 seconds in and then presumably got distracted and forgot to watch the rest. and if he did watch the whole thing, he didnt acknowledge it at all. typical. love ya pops!

some little foolish and irrational part of me hopes that they're flying me out to vegas for wwwyf. 

its actually a lot more likely that they take me to nyc. which ill take. thats the reasonable best case scenario here. they know i wanna go back, my dad wishes he could go every year, its something that they dont have to go too out of their way for. theyre lucky that thats the best feasible thing i could ever want for my birthday. 

first day as a legal adult and im already feeling the need to scream into my pillow and throw shit around my room.

but i have reason to believe my friend that im going out with tomorrow is giving me a birthday gift. so this is a big win for beanz nation. they asked me what my favorite mcr lyric was... my guess is a word bracelet... im so excited teehee i dont have any word bracelets

i will update!