update on cupids sobs

poor little cupid sits here and waits for things to be easy..I hate my bow and arrow. I feel like its broken. I fall for pity, I fall for care. my wings don't work that well anymore..my tears are so salty I would think my cheeks were salt rocks. if only it was that easy. one guy hates me, he's my ex, I hate him back..but he wants me back,,the other guy calls me sweet names, acts nice, makes me feel comfortable, but is a situation-ship. I'm picking the skin off my stupid cold, shaky hands like a dead rose. I hate my heart. its too big and sugary while others are so small and salty. was I ever really an option? "3 months but we aren't official or anything..just counting" but act sweet towards me, hold me, hug me, hold my hand, let me put clips in your hair, paint your nails. "she said to back off" he pulled every first move..what is this? I told him he needs to settle and set boundary's. he said its confusing,,he loves physical corny stuff but,,he cant. he said he loves my personality, he loves my hugs, he cares..I cant tell if he wants me or her. Its unfair for us both..its not cheating is it? they aren't even dating..or are they? or are they close friends? or am I just hopeless with rose petals and a full heart..?