Why I was a beautiful caterpillar in my last life.

 Yes, a caterpillar, but not just any caterpillar the prettiest one, obviously. And no, this is not some random thought. I’ve done the math.

Take the equation:

 (X + Y) \times \text{beauty} = \text{rebirth} 

Where X is my inherent brilliance and Y is the universe’s obsession with me. Now, according to the laws of reincarnation (which I made up just now), beauty is a constant force that transcends lifetimes. We’ll define that as  \text{beauty} = 10^{10} , because clearly, I’m off the charts.

My life is a cyclical pattern that can be expressed with:

 f(t) = \cos(2\pi t) \cdot \text{ego} 

Where t is time, and ego is, of course, at its peak—let’s say 1,000 . You plug all of that into the first equation, and what do you get? That I’ve been evolving through lifetimes, and since caterpillars transform into something gorgeous like butterflies, obviously , I had to start as the most beautiful caterpillar ever before evolving into the beautiful human being you see now. (You cannot see me so just believe me)

And if anyone doubts me, feel free to check my work.