SPIDER-MAN'S ACTUAL STRENGTH!!!

OK SO LET ME START OFF FIRST BY SAYING Hi! I'm Canonically! And I love shit posting and rambling! NOW ONTO THE SPIDER-MAN!!

The fanbase gets Spidey's strength COMPLETELY WRONG!

Let me explain, what have you always been told Peter Parker's powers are? Enhanced speed, enhanced agility, sticking to walls, the occasional organic web shooters (that thought still grosses me out) and lastly, the proportional strength of a spider. What is that proportional strength? After a quick google search, most would say 50 times his body weight. But if you look a little ahead in that top result, you’ll see the words “small spiders” If Peter Parker were only able to lift 50 times his body weight, every single impressive feat you've seen him do would be almost IMPOSSIBLE. You can’t stop a train with only 8400 pounds of force in the opposite direction, it just ain’t happening no matter how hard Tobey Maguire clenches his butt cheeks. So what’s his real strength? Well that would depend heavily on the type of spider that bit our nerdy loser, Peter Parker.

While we don't know the species of spider that bit Peter Parker in the comics, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 gives us a small inside scoop on a fictional species of spider that Peter was bitten by. Araneus Oscorpeus, wow, what an original name sony. While this species of spider is very much so fictional, it is in the orb-weaving spider genus, a real life genus of spiders. So lets just do a little google search to see- jesus christ, those are some big ass spiders. 6 INCHES!? MY ---- ISN'T EVEN- 

we’re going to probably say that the spider that bit peter parker was probably a male because in almost every canon they stay about the same size, THAT SAME SIZE NOT BEING 2 TO 6 INCHES. Back to those small spiders that can carry 50 times their body weight. So, some of the smallest spiders tend to be 0.02 inches, so they don’t weight very much, LETS SAY THE SPIDER THAT BIT PETER PARKER IS LIKE THE SIZE OF A QUARTER (I'm eyeballing this) that seems about right. So a spider the size of a quarter, thats about average spider size so if we look up how much an average sized spider can lift, we see it’s about 120 times their body weight that they can carry. Good god that is a lot. OK cool, 120 times his body weight, after a quick google search, we see that our friendly neighborhood spiderman weighs 167 pounds; multiply that by 120 and we get to around 20,000 pounds, 20,040 to be specific. Now let’s see if marvel gets this right (typing noises) 10 tons, cool. Using a pounds to ton converter we see OH HE CAN IN FACT LIFE 10 TONS, MARVEL GOT THE MATH AND RESEARCH RIGHT, BUT DOES THE FANBASE LISTEN!? NOOOOOO, but I guess that's just me.