Weirdly emotional for no real reason? I think

I have a goal, a plan, a hope; a dream. 

I've always wanted to be a wonderful entertainer. Currently, I stream a lot. Streaming is something I hold very near and dear, it's my true big passion.

I'm by no means a big streamer. I'm just breaking 100 followers and averaging between 3 viewers each stream. I love streaming, it's my favorite thing to do.

I applied to join a couple streaming agencies because I want to take my dream to the next level; I want to be an idol. A streaming idol. 

None of my auditions have been viewed so far, which I mean, it happens. I've always been very lucky with jobs and getting most of them on my first try. In that sense, I'm really spoiled. I think I'm spoiled that I'm even allowed to have this dream.

I've worked hard and improved a lot over time, I want to give people motivation in their lives and make them happy. I try my best to do that now, but I want to do it on an even bigger scale. 

I was talking with my bf about it yesterday and he compared some of my auditions to "okay so I apply to an entry level IT job, another entry level, another entry level and then Google. I want Google really bad, but they tell me I need to be better first. But I want Google"

It makes sense, I'm spoiled. It hurts that I feel like my talent isn't enough. I just want to do better