losing our pets forever & adaptation process

as if the destruction of everything were not enough, the death of the animals we love and live with is like the thorns of a rose.

    The value we give to our pets is completely different. If these animals have grown up with us since they were babies, I am sure that the feeling of losing the habit of living with them is more burning than the fire of hell. Because when they die, we cannot avoid remembering their first-day looks at us every second, we always have to live with the feeling of emptiness inside us.

Even if humans do not accept it, they are fragile creatures and sooner or later they feel the instinct to socialize with a living being. Sometimes people like us get these from animals that cannot even understand human language but are very special species in their own way. This may be a cat, who knows, maybe a snake. You form a bond with it as if you could live forever. You believe that everything will last forever. You give that animal the most beautiful name, feed it every day and sleep with it. When you close your eyes, the last thing you see is that animal friend, and at the same time, when you open your eyes, the first thing you see is itself. These humble creatures make even those who do not believe in fairy tales believe.

Then you realize that the creature you lived with for months and years has suddenly disappeared. You are all alone. Yes, its memories still continue to roam around the house. But that animal itself is no longer here. Life slaps you in the face, making you feel as if you never lived with it. While your brain keeps running away because it doesn't want to meet the fact that it is dead, you go through the mourning process so painfully that you think you are going to die. Was that animal really there? All this time, or were you dreaming? Yes, it left behind memories that would prove it was real. Its fur, its toys, its food bowl. But no matter where you look, you can't find its own body. You can't hear its voice. Then even eating feels like a sin to you. All you can do is cry and beg for it to come back. But it doesn't come back, it can't. Because it is truly dead. And at that moment, the most brutal part of the mourning process, the feeling of guilt, covers your entire body. You blame yourself for it leaving. Even if it's not your fault, you feel like you are to blame for everything. Guilt is such a feeling that you feel like you killed that animal yourself. Everything seems like a lie only to your eyes. You feel as if you are the only one experiencing all this pain in the world and you curse this universe you were born into even more.

Days pass, but the pain doesn't go away. At least you feel like the pain doesn't go away. You always look for a clean room to breathe in amidst the cruelty of life. Even if you don't notice it at that moment, your habits start to change slowly. You are now doing other things during the hours when you would have given your animal its food at mealtime. Or your bed consists only of you, it doesn't become a home for another living being. No matter who is with you, not having it makes you feel so incomplete that you even think about dying. All you talk about at those times is these animals you lost. Understanding people wait for you to get better, while others say how much you exaggerate the issue. For them, it is just an animal that dies. But what they forget is the value you gave it. Because you slept with that animal every day, not him/her. Not them.

After a while, you stop crying every day. When you remember it, only a bittersweet feeling hits your body. You think about your memories, sometimes you laugh involuntarily. At its innocence, how sweet it was. Even if it dies now, you remember the funny things you spent together before it died. Even if it leaves you physically, you will never leave it in your mind until you die. A part of it is in you and will stay with you forever.

The body is mortal, but the mind is eternal, the memories accumulated in the mind are eternal.

I am writing this article especially for the animals I have lost one after another in the last two years and all the time. Especially on June 5th of this year 2024, I lost my beloved son, my cat Zeus. I still don't think I can get over it. I don't believe that something can be completely overcome, but at least you can get better, I swear to you.

I think I am a good father to him, because at the end of the day, what matters is how well you took care of him while he was alive. After death, unfortunately, our regrets don't matter much

If you are going through a mourning process like this, trust me everything will be fine, you just need to give it time. It won't go away completely, but you won't live with the grief and guilt every day anymore.

I hoped and dreamed a lot that all my animals would come back from the dead. I wondered what would happen if the scenarios changed.

But right now, this is our lifeline that is absolute,

and even if it hurts, we have to follow it.

We have to stand strong for the souls of the dead.

- Alatan

  (i took a video of Zeus sleeping with this song before he died. i dont know if it plays on mobile.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQg53CcnwTQ