criminal mastermind

today some guy came into the store and asked all sorts of deeply suspicious questions while making intense eye contact with his arms crossed. like he seemed really nervous, he kept going "wow... there must be thousands of dollars of merchandise here... is there thousands of dollars of merchandise here? is a manager around? where do you keep the extra merchandise? is there a warehouse somewhere closeby? how much money do you make in a week? is there an employee bathroom? can i use the employee bathroom?" like you couldnt have been more obvious about casing the joint if you tried... the halloween factory has higher than average theft statistics cos of the seasonal demand for stuff, there's a thriving resale market for some of our merchandise and within the last two days our storage was broken into and messed with, at least we don't attract very crafty criminals, this guy was a real dope about it, like there is no unsuspicious reason for that line of questioning. way to raise the alarm bells dipshit they were already trying to find whoever broke into our offsite storage

i'm not into the whole cops thing and dont care about shoplifting but this was truly a strange interaction, he was staring me down like without blinking just pacing and staring and asking stupid questions

what happened to a good heist? where's the suspense? the intrigue? he wasn't even twirling a handlebar moustache and cackling to himself.... no cloak and hidden dagger.... not even a twinkle of mischievious excitement in his eye.... what a ripoff!