Feeling Like a Doll on a Shelf

Lately, I’ve been feeling like a doll. 

You know, empty. Just sitting on a shelf, disconnected from the world around me, not really moving. And when I realize it, I ask myself: Why am I like this? Why am I stuck in this place of stillness?

There’s so much I want to do. So many things that excite me and make me feel alive. I want to draw, but I don’t pick up the pencil. I want to read, but the books gather dust on my bookshelf. I want to walk, to run, but my feet feel glued to the ground. I even want to learn how to play the violin, but I'm too shy to go to a course.

And sometimes, this feeling of not wanting to do anything becomes so heavy that every day starts to look the same. It’s like waking up into the same emptiness every morning, going through the day in a daze. I retreat into myself. I stop talking to people, and even when I do, I wonder if what I’m saying really matters.

But I’ve realized something: if I don’t break this cycle, the emptiness will keep consuming me. And maybe this post is my first step toward breaking it. I don’t have to be super motivated, I just have to start small. I can draw one line, read one page, or even just step outside for a short walk. Small steps can start to crack the stillness. I hope.

If you’re feeling like this too, know that you’re not alone. So many people go through this same struggle. Maybe together, we can find a way to fill the emptiness.

So now, I’m going to take a small step. And draw a single line on my sketchbook.

Maybe I’ll never fully break this cycle, but at least at the end of the day, I can say, “I tried”