This might be kinda edgy or something but I really am tired of this :c
Teachers have always overlooked and ignored me, ever since I started attending school. I always did pretty well, and I never caused any trouble. In elementary and middle school I was very quiet and good good grades, so I guess teachers never really had a reason to care about me. Sometimes during attendance they wouldn't even notice I was there. They wouldn't call on me either.
When I was getting bullied in like,,, 7th grade, my mom spoke to my teacher about it (even though I begged her not to). My teacher responded with the extremely wise sentiment that I can just "hide in the bathroom if it bothers me so much".
But when my classmate got teased once, about 10 people got written up and scolded.
The same teacher came up to me once during lunch to ask me if I knew why my classmate "V" seemed so sad lately. I wasn't close to V or even speak to her at all, so I didn't understand why she asked me specifically. At the same time, I had been depressed for months. Can't remember anyone asking about me like, ever. I was jealous.
Now that I'm in high school, it's generally better, but the teacher thing didn't change one bit. My homeroom teacher barely knows I exist, and all my other teachers call me by my classmate's name. It's a bit similar, and can basically be used as a nickname for my full name, but I've never been called that before I started attending high school. During my first year, I tried to correct someone once or twice. They said it doesn't matter. I still keep getting referred to by her name.
Almost like I don't matter. Like they don't care I'm my own person. I SEEM to be doing well, my grades are good and I tend to look confident, so why bother remembering me? Even when I cry, they don't notice. And if they do notice, they don't care. The outcome of my work is usually good, so my feelings must not be that important.
Or maybe they don't pay me any mind because they don't like me. I can come off as cocky sometimes, I don't really know.
I just wish someone would see me.
See me and ME. Not as part of a group, not as a friend of so and so, not as someone with a similar name. Me.
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