slow recovery from a 4 year relationship i didnt realize was abusive until i met my fiance.

Yeah, the title is long, and you're probably sitting here asking yourself how I let this go for 4 years.

I met my ex, Jackson, through the LGBTA Wiki when I was 15 years old, I met one of his Alters, Spoon, before I met him as the host of the system, Spoon was also my Caregiver when I regressed, we became super close and basically became best friends, we were known to be the closetest and best of friends there on the Wiki.

When I was 16, I started to present Symptoms of Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder, Jackson and his system helped me through all of it, and I was even able to gain Medical recognition from my doctor. Jackson was one of the best things that happened to me, and he eventually became our partner system.

However, as time went on, he started to act differently, he'd yell at me for the smallest things and treat me as if I was doing everything wrong, Even small things like making me believe in "system travel" and that we could travel between headspaces, I blindly believed this because he was the only personal source I had at the time, Most of my research was from factual medical articles.

He and his alters would also beg me to split or at least try to find them an alter in our own system to date, and if we couldn't find them in a day, they'd start to moan and cry over being alone, which put pressure and stress on us, which ofc caused us to split more and more.

Some other things he did to me that I really can't fully put into detail:

• Vented to me unwarranted and without asking about his ED when he knew full and well I have EDNOS, and the topic triggered me
• would yell at me for having mental breakdowns and would play the victim when I would come to him about how I was feeling (He would call me aggressive)
• Treated me like Eye candy, and his token black partner
• rarely acknowledged my feelings unless I yelled at him
• Would get jealous of me talking to other guys, yet he'd always talk to other people (we're polyamorous)

around February to March, we really started to fall out, I met my current partner around December, and we were just friends at first, but Jackson would get upset from how I'd interact with him publicly on Twitter and quite literally did not allow me to talk to him at times yet would leave me on read a lot.

Then, around Mid February, my partner confessed his feelings to me, and I told Jackson because that's what you're supposed to do in a poly relationship, and he didn't like it one bit, feeling some sort of way and when I brought it back up, he acted like he totally forgot, blaming his own DID saying he forgot and that it was another alter when I know it wasn't because I studied each and every speech pattern from each alter that we usual talk to or any of my own alters are dating.

The final straw was when he went to a party and did not respond to me all night and didn't even tell me he went until the next day, I just had to keep my mouth shut, and I didn't know what else to do, I ofc told my current partner because I didn't know who else to cry to. he told me to confront him about how he treated me, and I did, it didn't end well

he broke up with me, and I blocked him.

I cried for hours because that was basically the only person I had for 4 years. After all, I decided to stand up for myself. I still sometimes regret it to this day, but I'm glad I stood up for myself.

A few days later, my partner and I started dating (Mind you, we both had mutual crushes on each other, but I was basically forbidden from dating because Jackson quite literally saw Adonis as a threat)

he made some stupid Twitter post calling me a homewrecker because my partner has his own partner, who I'm very close friends with, and was okay with my partner dating me, which caused mini Twitter drama, after that, we blocked each other and never spoke to each other again.

He still kinda posts about me and makes fun of me on Twitter, but I've let it go.

But thats it.

I'm in a happier and healthier relationship, and we're basically engaged at this point, I call him my fiance, and he bought me a promise ring and all, we've been together for 6 months, our 6 months being a few days ago.