Entry #4 unbearable blandness

Ufff well as I briefly mentioned in the previous entry I have had some kind of mental clot as of lately I don't know but being home so much does something to me, being confined in a small physical space it does something to my brain I don't know what, maybe its also the heat and the weather but I feel like the world is looking gray and not like a pretty gray but like a claustrophobic and bland sort of gray that withers me out, and its not like I could just go out for a walk but I feel so unmotivated I wish I could just see my friends daily when I'm with close people I feel happier and more joyful but when I get home afterwards there is this lingering feeling of missing them. But its weird that it happens just sometimes other times I have been unbothered for weeks or months with minimal social interaction.

I also feel frustrated with how I look, its not that I look bad (well depends on the day) but I feel like lately I look as bland and tasteless as an unsalted potato, I want to get new things to look better but again the heat where I live is like being stuffed in a boiling pot.

Also I sometimes feel just like a background character in peoples life, It made me so happy to see the smile of my friends when they saw me the other day it felt and looked sincere and made me feel like I was liked by other people, maybe sometimes people don't notice this small details but they can go a Loong way in making someone else's day.

to end up with I cant wait to be done with high school once and for all I just don't want to deal anymore with this, well this entry was just really unorganized and Just a Rant but I wanted to keep some level of consistency so here you go, ill try to write something better next time