Tape 2

"It's not a lake, it's an ocean." "It's not a loop, it's a spiral."

- Voj - He/It - 9/16/2024

Kind of having a fallout with some of my friends right now, like I've had too many times before, and it feels I've finally hit the wall of tolerance that I have left for their shit. Just the constant putting down of people that don't deserve it is just too much for me, so I've left their servers and will write a script of things to speak about soon enough. I'm just preparing myself for the worst, them cutting me off for what I have to say, though I'm only suspecting that for one of them honestly. The other has sense that this isn't right, but gets sucked into it easily, so maybe I can snap her out of it. The other seems more like a lost cause, constantly trying to one up me and put me down in weird ways whenever I mention anything. It riles me up, so the script should help me maintain my calm when talking to him. They aren't irredeemable people, but I can't wait around through everyone's piece of shit phase and wait for them to grow out of it, I'm not interested in sacrificing my mental health to snap you out of it every time, especially when we're at our tenth time I've had to do this.

Aside from that, I've started journaling again, physically in my mostly empty spiral-bound books that I haven't touched in a few months each. Mostly just about the current situation, my feelings on it that I can't voice aloud, and some other small personal stuff that I won't be sharing openly here. Definitely need to write down a to-do list though, I keep forgetting to email this therapy group and start with them, especially with the case that I can feel myself slipping with my anger episodes and need intervention sooner than later. Best now while I'm still tolerable and not when I'm in a rage beating myself up over feeling an emotion named anger all the time. It sucks, but I know there's some meds to help, as long as it isn't that damned depakote again. Horse pills and for naught, they don't even work for me, only to make my seizures kind of worse.

Regardless, I have things to do and will do them today. Goodbye, for now.