Randy Lewisham's thoughts.

Started SpaceHey in, 09/14/2024.

- What can I collect from this world where we're living? At the first day, we knew nothing, I was full of innocence while my body was only developping. By watching my surrounding, the time I got to be educated with what I had, made me who I was, a young child. My peers weren't acting normally towards me. At a very young age, I thought that the happiness of the others was exhausting and irritating! My brain was built differently, and I knew it.

What's about them being joyful? Well, in my time, people were living life casually and with not much issue. Each time I was waiting for respect, and dignity from them, they were doing the contrary! I was just a bag of flesh, or a confusing child for their eyes?

Now. I knew Life, without being showered of true needs. Each time you see a child acting emotionless, and that get easily irritated and disgusted seeing someone getting affection in front of them, only think about me and my past. But honestly, I only think that in my whole life I was hating this type of love. And again! I hated love very much! I thought that life was meant to be lived in a stoic way, and that people were too weak sometimes.

I wasn't acting like an adult. I got easily irritated to the people, that were too soft, affectionate, nice and annoying! I told you, I tasted life like I was surviving it, I saw the danger almost everywhere, but still, I was still feeling safe. Plenty of subjects disgusted and angered me!

Some people disgusts me so much, that I end up hating them. Even though it was years ago, till these days, i'm still this same child. That avoid every way to get affection and to be soft! Because in my past, I didn't tolerate love.