maybe my pica directly caused me to damage my brain

tw//: mentions of pica, an eating disorder, and uncomfortable medical thoughts for brain and physical health?

I struggled hard with pica when I was younger. FYI, that's the condition that makes you eat non-food items. One thing I used to eat was something you'd least expect, yet something you could probably find out yourself if you thought about it. I'm worried it contained lead or asbestos. My house was built in 1994 in Kentucky, a few decades after the components I mentioned were banned.

I'm so absent-minded and stupid and clueless now. I have huge brain frog. I'm a slow learner. I wonder how much of this is just me. How much is this linked to the lead/asbestos?! I know it can take a long time for lead/asbestos effects to kick in. What if it comes back to me when I'm in my thirties, forties, fifties? I'm fortunate to have good physical health. It's just my dang brain that's the problem. How much can I blame my shortcomings on my autism and ADHD? I'm so terrified that I may have actually eaten asbestos or lead and these actions scrambled up my brains. Stuff I did when I was around 8-11 that's now biting me in the behind.

I don't want to use any of these problems as excuses for not doing anything. I want to so badly be an independent person living on my own. But I don't know what to do bro. I feel so empty and abstracted. I have no self. I have no brain. helpppppppppppp❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️ Maybe this is all just an issue future me has to worry about. My brother said if I exercise and eat healthily, I should be able to keep possible symptoms under check and live a relatively normal life. I don't know if what I'd consume even contained asbestos/lead, so there's that, too. But if it did? I could have gotten brain damage. My brain hurts. It feels like there's something clogging it up.

Well, none of you guys are my doctors and this is an issue I'm going to bring up to my therapist. Sorry for venting, lol. I try not to do that on my blog anymore! Hope you all are having a jolly good day!