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Category: Writing and Poetry

thoughts????

The storm raged like an angry man. hitting the house with such vicious winds it shook the wooden house. The woman tried to shush her crying daughter so as to not alarm the monsters. The moment she was able to calm the crying child, the front door bursts open revealing a hulking dark figure. 


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NewPancakeMan

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"hitting the house with such vicious winds it shook the wooden house."
- no need to say house twice, maybe like the rotted walls or something

"The woman tried to shush her crying daughter so as to not alarm the monsters."
^ comma here
"The moment she was able to calm the crying child"
If it's her daughter, I'd use more personal language, or at least say her crying child

Good roots though, keep writing!


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