"When someone shows you their true colors, believe them."

Ok ya’ll I really just need to rant about something because this is one of my biggest irks when I see or hear people say it, and I just heard someone say it again and I’m holding my tongue on their post but I need a place to word vomit lol. The phrase: ‘When someone shows you their true colors, take note.’ OR ‘When someone shows you their true colors, believe them.’ and similar phrases. This phrase peeves me off so much, because it is such black and white thinking of people and implies that people you know are not all the positive qualities you knew about them – that as soon as they have a bad day or make a mistake, or hurt you in some way, suddenly those negative things you’ve just experienced with them now encompass their ENTIRE being. That’s now who they REALLY are, not all the positive things about them you knew before.

Humans are multifaceted, very flawed creatures. We have all hurt people, we have all blessed people, we have all made mistakes, done some really horrible things and some really good things. Some people will know versions of yourself that other people might never know. We learn and we grow from our mistakes and our past. And the truth of the matter is that no matter how much you love people, or trust people, one of these days they are going to make a mistake. One of these days they will likely hurt you. That’s just life. But just because those unfortunate things happen does not mean who you knew them as before they hurt you is no longer. Those positive things you knew about them previously is part of who they really are too, you just got to experience the flawed aspect of them for the first time.

Nobody is perfect, and we need to stop holding other people on a pedestal and expect people to be 100% perfect and okay all the time. We need to realize they’re human too and it is inevitable they are going to fuck up at some point, just like we do. And one of these days, you’re likely going to experience one of those flawed facets of them that you don’t like, just as they might for you. What you have to decide is if the positives about that person outweigh the negatives about that person, and if the positive memories you have with that person are worth overcoming this hiccup with them. Not every mistake, fight, or negative event with a person is a pattern. And hey, if it’s a pattern that you’ve experienced with them repeatedly and it disturbs your peace more than you feel is worth it to maintain the relationship, that’s OK too. Some folks need more healing than others, and you don’t have to keep ties with people who leave you feeling bad more often than they leave you feeling good. But realize that nobody, not a single soul on this Earth is perfect, and if you want people to remain in your life and love you through your flaws when those bad days happen, then you need to be that same kind of person in return and start having realistic expectations of people and expect that one day, you may see a side of them you don’t like. But maybe you can forgive them and move past it with them and allow them to grow from it without letting that flaw overpower your perception of them.

Anyways. Enough of this ‘when someone shows you their true colors, believe them’ crap. People are human, all humans are flawed, that is life.