my first relationship

i still can’t believe that i have a boyfriend now. it’s all very new, and very scary. he’s been really patient with me, and has been checking in with my every step of the way to 1) make sure i’m comfortable, and 2) check that he’s not moving too fast. i really appreciate that, because without that consideration i’d be drinking from the firehose right now.

i’m getting used to calling him more often now. we have a better rapport when talking to each other; better chemistry than when we were both just friends with the same friend. he is actually really adorable, and he flusters kinda easily. though he gets me just as well, probably even moreso.

this feels different than the crush i had before, or even the small crush after that. i looked up to those people, but i was so scared to go talk to them. i was so frightened that i would mess up. having someone approach me first gave me reassurance; safety, almost. he’s been so clear with me about how he feels and i couldn’t be more grateful.

i want him to feel happy around me. i want to feel the same around him. and i wanna keep that going as long as it’s meant to.

what do you think of first relationships? have you been in one, or are you like me: currently experiencing your first? how did/does it feel to you? there’s a lot of moving parts to dating, and i’m still trying to figure them out for myself. best thing i can do is just let everything progress naturally and stick with what i know.

thanks for reading, you’re awesome. :]

- Jelly, 11 Sep 2024, 20:55