Sadness and feelings

Sometimes in the middle of the dark night. I know that the true shows, even if we don't wanna see it. Some twisted and exasperating feelings toward someone. Love, hate, lust & sex feels enchanting. But is it really what I want it to be...?

I try to keep quiet those thoughts in my mind. I feel out of myself, of my body. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. But I don't wanna be myself again if I loose someone important to me. I say words but I don't feel it, sometimes, and sometimes I don't. Everytime he kiss me and he lies, I hope at least, my feelings are the only truth known.

Or I will become a liar too.

As everybody.