life update

a lot has happened since the last time i used this site :(

mainly:

-my dog died

-school started

-i dropped 2 courses

-i tried to kms

-i turned 20!

-i got a laptop (helps me post more)

-my restrictive ed turned back into a binge ed

   -i feel like its my fault for letting myself slip but then i remember there's like 5 different dissociative states in my head with near full amnesia between them. 

   -i keep fasting most of the day then binging a ton at night. this is such a disaster. i keep going to the 24/7 gas station and binging a ton once everyone is asleep. this is costing me inane amounts of money as well

   -i know its just dopamine seeking but its just so hard to stop. my brain functions from dopamine hit to dopamine hit. if i didn't i don't think i'd be alive lol

all this to say that i want a wl buddy again!! or friends in general that have other hobbies and interests besides ed shit that just so happens to also have an ed

also im back up to 280 :( my lowest was 273 so this is a huge part of why im back on here. i NEED to lose weight again