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(This post has themes of drugs, death, addiction, and a fuck ton of swearing. If you don't like that, get out! Get out before it's too late and YOU become an Offspring fan! But if there IS something rule-breaking, and you're a mod who wants to ban me for it, I'm fine with editing this or taking it down instead.)
While I was at work earlier, I was thinking of new blogs to make, because Torrentino was a week or 2 ago. So here's one on an album I recently bought and've been listening to an unfair bit!
1. Disclaimer:
Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to the Disclaimer! That's right, The Disclaimer!! This American apple pie institution known as parental discretion will
cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm from the lyrics which might
actually make you THINK, and will also insult your intelligence at the
same time. So protect your family!!
This album contains explicit depictions of things which are real!! These real things are commonly known as LIFE!! So, if it sounds sarcastic, Don't take it seriously. If it sounds dangerous, do not try this at home, or at all. And if it offends you, Just. Don't. Listen to it.
Very good album intro, my favorite of theirs by FAR. The tune behind it also rocks, and it even works as a disclaimer for the post! Now I can get to my own intro:
My siblings are also into the Offspring, well before I was. One's favorite was Smash, and the other loved Americana. Ixnay came out between the 2, so they figured they would both listen to it and end up with a neutral opinion on it... time has passed, I've listened to Americana and Smash. Now I get to be the asshole who likes the in-between one!
...If you want the lyrics THAT bad, all of the song titles link to songmeanings.com.
Starting a album with a fast track always works out, especially with Offspring. The meaning of meaning of life is "figure it out on your own. don't let anyone else shove their own meanings down your throat"! And I'm shoving my meanings down your throat. It gets onto where Smash left off, and it's a heavy strong start at that! 4/5.
3. Mota
Fun song about weed destroying the protagonist's life! It also has the greatest lyric of all time:
Give the guy a twenty and wait in the car
He tosses me a baggie then he runs real far
I take a hit but it smells like a clove
Oh fuck I got a baggie of oregano
I never did weed or similar, so I can't speak on it, but I can give another 4/5- the oregano gives a whole extra point. I swear I'll give more than 4/5s to everything, but Ixnay starts STRONG, ok?
All relationships eventually get past the lovey-dovey beginnings and move into some pressure. If you can't handle pressure or an argument, you'll never work out! These 2 have it... somewhat worked out, but I can see em together. Maybe that's not what you make of it, but it's MY album review. It's what I made of the song. A Pet Name couple for sure. And it's rocking??? 5/5.
5.
Cool To Hate
Remember when the disclaimer warned about satire? Here it is! It's about a kid who things the only cool thing in life is hating others, and he does it all because it's that much easier than changing. What a dickhead! Which is worse- the fictional protagonist who defines himself by what he isn't rather than what he is, or the songmeanings users who think the song's completely serious? Another 5/5! Also very similar to Feelings from Americana, which I also love for its satire.
An "answer" to the last song. "You keep getting fucked with because of your nonsensical rage towards everything, and I wanna help you, but jesus christ, this is the billionth time, and you've learned NOTHING!." 3/5.
7.
Gone Away
A song about love and loss that I... don't really like. I like a slow song, and I'm fine with the theming, but... I just don't like it! I don't know why! End Of A Life on Americana is similar, but I don't like that either! I wish I liked it! 2/5
8.
I Choose
I love this one. A song about how life is what you make of it... sound familiar? The beat reminds me of rock more than most other ones, and I love riffs what the post bridge here. Listen to it- there's not much more I can say! 5/5
This is life
What a fucked up thing we do
What a nightmare come true
Or a playground if we choose
And I choose
9.
Intermission
3/5, A peaceful break between falling off a cliff and
YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH!
10.
ALL I WANT
crazy taxi. but also, it's fucking quick and it's fucking strong. it's making me type faster! i forgot the caps but HERE THEY ARE! IF A SONG CAN MAKE YOU FEEL, THE GUITAR BRINGS BACK SENSES AND FUCKS THEM UP AT THE SAME TIME. THE LYRICS LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER BOTTLE UP YOUR FEELINGS. LET THEM KNOW. DO IT! NOW! 5/5
We're back to punctuation and capitals! But I like this one too. If you really try, you can break a dark cycle your parents set and make a better future. How many people are truly trying? Not these protagonists! Of course, it's sarcastic... somewhat. 4/5.
12.
Don't Pick It Up
Ska, and it's very fun. VERY similar to What Happened To You? from Smash. Don't pick it up if you can't throw it away- in life, in love, and in dogshit on the street! 4/5.
13.
Amazed
Have you ever looked around and figured that you can't relate to all the shiny happy people around you? That they're all so hollow, and nobody cares that you're drowning in your skin? Well, good luck! 3/5
14.
Change The World
Ixnay on the Hombre as a title translates to "Fuck The Man". Very strong title in and of itself, but was there a non-edgy reason for it? Well, after Smash was a major hit, the label they were on, Epitaph, was worth 40 million- 30 million from Smash alone. So when businessmen were shopping for a stake in the growing punk scene, Epitaph reached into its wallet for deals. Shouldn't the band that's essentially 75% of the label have a word in how it's treated? They decided that if their music and band's a product, they might as well take control of it, so The Offspring "sold out" to Columbia.
Why did I tell you all that? Because that's what the song is about. "You don't want to change the world, you only want it for yourself. So don't lie". 4/5.
So that's Ixnay On The Hombre! I've successfully gone over every song on the album. But which is my favourite? And why the fuck did I bother giving each song a rating if 90% are limited to either a 4/5 or 5/5? Am I finally turning into IGN? It's because I'm comparing the songs not so much to the rest of the album as to songs in general. This is one of my favorite albums, and I'm glad you stuck around to hear me ramble about it. Thank you.
1. I Choose
2. All I Want
3. Cool To Hate
4. Me & My Old Lady
5. Mota
6. Don't Pick It Up
7. Meaning Of Life
8. Change The World
9. Way Down The Line
10. Amazed
11. Leave It Behind
12. Gone Away
(Disclaimer and Intermission don't count)
You guys should try heavy metal. Kiss my ass!
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Vitorio
Ya ya ya ya ya!!!