my personal feelings about Garfield

I've been a garfield fan since 2023. somewhere around ends of august. my first fanart was a recreation of the pipe strip, a MOCKING recreation of it. I made it in music class. 

I dont remember exactly where, when or HOW I know about garfield. when I saw him, I didnt think much of him. might be like any other characters I currently dont care about -- but at least I KNOW them. 

ive probably seen garfield a lot before but didnt realize it.

since that particular day I've been drawing garfield ,,, getting to know him as a CHARACTER, as a PERSON, as a CARTOON, as a MEDIA. 

I dont think ive EVER had such an intense hyperfixation, ive never had such knowledge about a subject before. 

I wanted and I want to know EVERYTHING about the little guy. it might be my autism speaking, but, to me, he's more than a plain fat cat. he's a lot more to me, to the world, to other fans.........he's different to me. he's different than ANY other comic strip. I dont care as much as other comics strips such as Heathcliff, Snoopy... media like that! 

i've loved him as much as I can. its been a year and a half since I first started accidentally researching and reading stuff about garfield ... articles, comics, scripts, concepts, books ... anything I can see. anything I can HEAR ... movies, shows, shorts, clips, DVDs, flash games, flash animation....

IVE LOOKED, IVE DOWNLOADED EVERYTHING.. I have the archives of Garfield's Infinite Learning Lab, the collection of flash games, fourth of those; english, life skills, math, science... 

I have playlists of the specials, both Garfield And Friends and The Garfield Show. I'm starting to get books for my collection. I have Garfield His 9 Lives, and I just bought Garfield's Judgement Day yesterday.

I see Garfield.. I have the desire to know more about him. I want to know EVERYTHING about him. I want to know about Jim Davis's comics. I'm not too far to know a lot about him, but, at the same time, im way too far to know EVERYTHING about him. 

sometimes in my free time I re-read Jon. I re-read the concept of garfield... the most earlier version of him. Jon. 1976. the little guy... he has no black stripes, he has no yellow spot on the fur of his mouth. Jon, he has a different shirt... Odie? he has a different name. a different design, he looks a lot more like a dog. it's one of my favorite versions of garfield. its raw, its funny, its simple... its good! you see how funny they are in comparison to latest garfield's comic strips?

in fact, lets look at today's Garfield strip, 09/09/2024. Garfield dialogue is "ugh, a tofu burger, the monday of foods". I did NOT laugh at this one, and I can guarantee that I could've easily laugh at some of 1976/1978. 

I have a strong need to everyone to hear me out. to understand me. to pay attention, learn from me about garfield. I understand other garfield fans might be more intelligent than me, since they're grown people. I'm 14. I want to make a difference on how people look at garfield. I may overanalize Garfield. I love him, but I also hate him. I'm in love and at war with the orange one. 

that fatass cat has NO good jokes since a loooong time ago. his media is mediocre at best, and he's an unapollogetic character who's only purpose was to make money.

but, at the same time, my love for him is deep. I have all his merch, I always think and talk about him. I love that yellow spot on his mouth, I love his smile, I love his stripes, I love his voice, I love his personality, I love his humor, I love him. I'm in love with him. I'm one of the many victims of overconsumption. I waste all my money just to follow the little life of that lazy cat. why? because he's cute and cool. 

I dont know how else search for Garfield media. I know a lot of stuff, I swear to everyone. but, I dont think I know enough. maybe I know a lot, but I feel like there's more to the media. I've seen a lot of video essays, ive re-watched shows, episodes, specials, ive re-read garfields 9 lives over and over again. i've been trying to understand Primal Self, Lab Animal, the end of Babes & Bullets....

but I want to know about more media of him.

facts about garfield... I know a lot of them! 

sometimes I feel a little sad. all I think about is him. therefore, all I talk about is him. I feel like I make people uninterested, uncomfortable, bored ... I feel like people just treat me well because I act like I'm special needs. I talk about him non-stop, I try not to. depend on how you see it, it will still hurt me. whether you think I'm obsessed, interesting, dedicated, passive, whether its a hobby, an interest, a hyperfixation.. its still something I deeply care about and I'm sensitive

I think I need some therapy, I'm considering to talk about him in my next session. he has brang me problems. maybe its my age, the people im around, my state of mind .... but, sometimes I wonder to myself, how am I supposed to make it out there when I'm older? I'm not too far from being 18, and that concerns me. I work ALMOST completely fine, but, still. those are some factors that make me question on how id take things that will happen when I'm older. 

spending money, paying bills, working non-stop, possibly one day of rest, sex, relationships, friendships.. I could never handle any of that. I already get overwhelmed at seeing anything about garfield. yes, I see the comics, but, anything after that, I feel overwhelmed. I cant look normally at the shows because they overwhelm me with happiness, joy even. how come anyone get so bothered by something so simple? if my feelings towards something completely fictional, I cant imagine how i'd feel at other stuff. 

I'm terrible at everything. I feel helpless. my days pass so fast, and I'm closer to being an adult. it worries me. it isnt about garfield anymore. I'm not enjoying my childhood. I didnt enjoy everything from my earlier days, and I'm sure I wont enjoy anything from adulthood. I'm sure one of these days, I'll wake up, and I wont want to hear anymore about that cat. I'll unfollow anything related to him. I'll delete all the pictures, archives, drawings, playlists, websites, recomendations, videos from my devices. I'll throw my whole collection of garfield to the trash, or I'll sell it. that day will come. I'll look at him with hatred and sadness, and I'll remove all 41 items from my bedroom. that day will come sooner or later. it worries me. the future worries me. I want to enjoy everything freely. I'm spoiled, I'm good-looking, I smell good, I have everything I want, I got money, I'm smart, I'm charming, I'm interesting, yet, I dont feel happy. it seems like the only thing that makes me happy, which is garfield, makes me feel overwhelmed, and other emotions I dont want to feel. that make me miserable, depressed, hopeless. 

but after all, he's just a cat. and I like him. without him, I dont know where i'd be. I'm grateful about him. I hope he still brings me joy in the future... anyways.

garfield's cool.