creating worlds.

I've always been someone to create worlds. Whether it's in my head, an album, a song, a clothing line, some pictures I took, a poem, anything. Maybe even built out of lego. :) 

A lot of the time in my art im speaking from the perspective of a character I made that reflects onto my life. if it's an angry sounding song, then that's an angry character, and that's the part of me that's angry. And it's the same with happiness or sadness or other emotional shit. 

Sometimes I create worlds that reflect on something I wish I had, or a world where I made different decisions and ended up being happier. Like a universe where I didn't fuck everything up. Or one where we could actually be together. 

I've been a total asshole. And people don't think I'm aware of that. They talk to me like im some douchebag that doesn't think he does anything wrong or something. But I know I've made mistakes. I'm trying to better myself. It's people like you, (you know who you are) that never want to admit they're wrong and never take accountability for their actions. (No, ****, I'm not talking to you.)

I think I'm just better off alone for a while. I just hurt all of the people around me and i never want or mean to. 

since I started high school, I went from a kid that was genuinely happy and carefree to a (still) kid who forces every smile and is under the pressure of having nobody with me that believes in this dream i have. but i know in my fucking soul that this is who I'm destined to be. I'd rather be dead than live the same day over and over again. and if you ever see an article talking about some "young artist commits suicide" just know that it was probably me.

I have one year.

-kelson.