bad feeling

Tw! S3lfh4rm, e4ting disord3r

It's too bad. I don't know what to feel. I just want to stop thinking so I never have to h7rt mys3lf again. Why do memories always make me hysterical and reckless. Why do I only remember the bad things from my childhood. I just want to remember me and my mom and dad joyfully walking around and them genuinely loving each other. Dad doesn't drink or strangle mom anymore. We're a happy family. Why did this never happen. I want to remember something fun, but I can't. Why is it that the only thing that stops this flood of horrible memories is a b0x cutt3r? I too want to be a teenager who only cares when a game or movie comes out, what to eat today. I want to be happy to eat again, not crying because i ate more than I intended.