please say, honestly, you won't give up on me, and i shall believe

06/09/24

Roswell '47

there is something seriously wrong with me but i like it.

you haven't learnt yet and I'm still shiny and new and, i guess, so are you

I'll do my best to keep it that way 

i'm actually excited for monday 

i've been writing a lot less and it's all your fault 

don't worry, i'll forgive you 

concrete bed 

i've been waiting. this is a good start 

to the year 

she told me i'm not a bad person and i believe her but i also know that i am a selfish person

and i'm an unforgiving person. and i let things get to me and get under my nails and burrow under my skin until they're just a part of me. i swear it's not as often as it sounds. i swear it's more often than it sounds 

it's not going to kill me 

i'm too stubborn 

and i don't remember how to live any other way 

god, that's so dramatic 

i sure can make an easy target 

something about not changing day to day and then realising you 're not who you were 

if i got worse would people notice 

if i got better would people notice 

who cares 

why does it matter 

family reunion 

why do we only get together because we have to 

not because we want to 

and this time we were coming together before something bad happened 

and then something bad happened and now we have to 

why am i complaining 

people have it much worse. i just wish i were a better daughter, grand daughter, great grand daughter 

i wish they liked me 

i wish he'd never said that 

i wish he hadn't been so young 

i wish a lot 

lucky none of them will come true 

i am grateful 

i promise 

i'll stop complaining 

i just don't know what to do 

i have that empty feeling again 

like i can feel it in my chest when i focus and i can feel myself caving in 

hope you're all ok 

Northern Downpour sends her love