Entry 16 || My Stupid Drawing Problem

Cartoons and drawing have pretty much become a huge part of who I am; all I do to pass the time everyday is to either draw or watch cartoon shows. I feel like cartoons even influence the way I talk or do things sometimes, since I've received a lot of comments from others about how I tend to act or dress like "a literal cartoon character" (which I personally find to be huge compliments).

So of course, the cartoony artstyle have since manifested on the way I draw and it's become one of the only things I ever draw. Don't get me wrong, I love drawing cartoons so much to the point where I can draw them all day, but I've been finding it difficult to break free from that kind of artstyle, especially when I try to draw in other styles wherein the cartoony style accidentally seeps through.

I find it really hard to show people my drawings since I feel that it's often looked down upon for its "childlike" style and impression, unlike the other artstyles that people nowadays tend to look for such as anime or realism, so I always hesitate showing people my random cartoon characters about little big-eyed children that go on dark adventures or about a bunch of stuffed animals doing everyday things. People don't really pay much attention to those-- it's always either cool fight scenes or romantic manhwa.

Or maybe I just tend to make bland stories. But I promise that I always try to make things interesting.

So not only is it problem for my "self-promotion," but it's a problem for my drawing flexibility too.

I believe that if I'm pursuing a multimedia arts career, I have to be much more flexible with drawing in different styles, so I constantly push myself into practicing styles that are necessary to learn as an aspiring "artist." Ever since I've gained that mentality, I've been really hesitant with using the terms "artist" or "art" on my own works since they feel more like titles to be achieved through much practice and experience-- so I believe I'm still extremely far from ever achieving such title. I have yet to learn how to properly draw muscle anatomy, complex vehicles, dynamic poses, maybe paint, etc. and maybe then, I'll be able to call myself an "artist." But for now, I'm simply a person who knows how to digitally draw big-eyed characters with exaggerated cartoon features.

But I guess there's another way for me to accept myself as an "artist"-- a moment that I always dream of happening, and that's if I manage inspire someone to become an artist or if I get someone to utter the simple but genuine lines of "I wanna draw just like you one day," or "I wanna become an artist one day."

Only then, I'll call myself an "artist."

It's my biggest dream to inspire people after all. And what better way for me to do that than to draw?

That's why I love it anyway.