Starting school again

Hey yall, what's up?

So I recently turned 17, I just started my first year of 11th grade and I've realized a lot. I am tired of settling for average, or just being average in general. I really want to push myself to be the best. But every time I reach out for help, people will always tell me that I'm reaching too high, or unrealistically. 

In my opinion it's not realistic at all, I have goals, and I want to pursue them. Is that such a crime? I have been spending the past 2 years cheating on my assignments because I can no longer retain the information from the material from the lessons in my classes. I'm homeschooled, so working on assignments makes it really difficult as you have to do your best to not procrastinate, become distracted. And you have to really push yourself , because no-one else will.

I just feel so alone right now, it feels like I will never be good at what I used to be good at. I used to love doing projects, writing essays I was good at it! And now I've lost the motivation and will to pursue getting good grades, and going above and beyond for myself overall. I just want to know, does anyone have any advice for how I can push myself?