1uickk ᓚᘏᗢ's profile picture

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Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

dying

i wanna die so bad haha

i dont think my 'friends' will care tbh. they jus mean to me but i think that they think it as jokes? its not funny bro. once they spent all day making fun of me lol. theres only One of my friends who i ac like being 'round n talking to (shoutout) 

idk why they're like dis but :// im prolly gon' end it after my last ever day of school, not as in the direct day after but prolly like few months idk... but only if my life doesnt get better

i dont have any1 to talk to about this haha... My mom has told me that i can talk to her 'bout anythin but like i dont wanna talk to my mom about me being suicidal and hating my life thatd be rlly awkward haha... and i jus cant ask for therapy cus then she would kno somethings wrong sooooo.. yeaa :4(..... anotha thing is dat none of my friends got the same interests as me, kinda?? idk. 

I like music, anythign with music, makign beats, recording, makign album covers etc etc but my friends... idk what they like and if i do tlak bout the things i like theyll just say "cool" and change the topic, also when in with them im like an ousider? im just standing behind em' while they are just talking talking talking talking talking and then theres me just there walkign behind them feeling left out lmaooo

uhmmm thats it for now haha see ya

-1uickk


EDIT:

my friends dont even listen to the same music as me. i like underground music like

nettspend, xaviersobased, lvke, kishin, six days after christmas, closet, yabujin, *67, katai, heroinsick, lil shine, p3psihæld, jossah, fuck6ixty, vin0, lazer dim, okaywell, andrew garden, sematary, yandere, munzi, bronclair, chriss144 and len333

but it kinda makes sense tbh that they dont listen to em' soooo...


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Ballzshredder420

Ballzshredder420's profile picture

I remember being 15. I took a ton of pills in a bid to end it all. I had such a bad headache and fever dreamed for an hour. My mom called me for dinner and when I came down she had made Filipino torta. For whatever reason that made me burst into tears. I regretted so much. I was wishing I could intake the pills. I realized I didn't want to die, because my mom was still there and she would cook for me no matter what. I really hated my life then, my friends didn't understand me at all, and I figured they hated me. I am 19 now. I am legally a scum of the earth. My ex friends are sleaze balls. I had the most fun in my life at 18 until just 2 months ago. You turn 18 and it's like the lights turn on. When I was 15 I thought everyone hated me and I hated me too. Now I'm 19 and an entire county hates me but I don't want to die, cause I tasted proper and full life once and I refuse to give it up. 15 is nothing. You'll get to real life sooner than you think, and I guarantee you that it will be better. Most people who want to die actually are just dissatisfied with their current life. All you have to do is change it drastically. And it will, because you will get your first milestones, whatever they may be. Thug it out for now and I promise you things will get better. It's worth it


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Asta

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Hai hai. I know that post is like 5 days old, but I don't care if I'm late xD. I know this feeling of just wanting to die is pretty terrible, but you always need to remember that there is someone who cares about you. And even if no one cares about you right now, remember that this will change and you will find someone who will care about you. If you want therapy, maybe just tell your parents another reason you want therapy. A therapist does not instantly mean that you want to die and have depression. It's actually a good idea for almost anyone to have at least one therapy session to talk about some stuff, because most of the time you don't see problems where you actually have some. One of my ideas would be for you to talk to your friends about them always making fun of you and how you feel bad about that. And if they don't care, I would just stop contacting them because if they are just making you feel worse, then it's better to have one real friend to talk to than 10 who just make fun of you and make you feel left out.

I am also very interested in music production and stuff, soooo this comes a bit random... But if you want to, you can just message me and maybe teach me a bit bout beats the music you like and stuff (cuz i want to get better and make some cool stuff) or just talk about things you want to talk about :3

hope you have a nice day/night or smth :)


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thank u for the kind words :33
btw ALWAYS HAVE UR 808s IN KEY (if u use that)
i lerned that the hard way

by 1uickk ᓚᘏᗢ; ; Report

Mr.Dizzy

Mr.Dizzy's profile picture

Hey there! Just wanna let you know with a positive outlook things will get better. Life fluctuates so sometimes its great and sometimes it really really sucks. I would recommend expressing to your friends how they make you feel because it could be totally unintentional. If they are doing it on purpose then you should distance yourself from their space. SH is not a good way out bc once you go you obviously cant come back and who knows what's after death. My name is Kade and if you need to talk or get advise I can totally do that. I only joined the platform last night and I immediately set my goal to stay on here and help anyone I can.


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August Askew

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please don't end it, you say there's still a friend you like being around and I'm sure that friend cares about you a lot and would hate to see you go. I'm not saying you have to stay for the happiness of anyone else, but there's still so much for you in this world, even if it feels hopeless. Stay safe :(


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