Me myself and OI

I want to make more internet friends or just friends in general. I always find it hard to maintain friendships for some reason. idk if im bipolar but It always feels like people never really value or depend on me as much as i depend on them. maybe i just dont see it but sometimes it feels like only one or two people really care or seem like they genuinly want to get to know me. the real me. what ever happened to making friends like when we were in kindergarden? teenagers never really do that anymore. People just want to be super cool and im part of that but its so toxic and tiring. I feel alienated all my life but i always wonder when will I ever make a good friend. or maybe I need to sort myself out? Change my ways of handling a friendship maybe? i will try but it would be nice to have friends that arent all about vaping or talking about their exes or drinking their sorrows away. Call me childish or dont wanna mature or grow up but I just want to be surrounded by people that help me make healthy good choices and make me think about how fun life is. We teenagers are very pesimistic and deppressed all the time i accept that but i wonder if there are people my age that just want to talk and walk at a park and IDK like things i would see in western movies or tv shows with friends. going to each others houses and hanging out. like without internet.