im pissed

what the actual fuck is wrong with me. I dont understand what im feeling and i can never find the right words to use to express my thoughts. it's so hard to communicate. i hate myself. im confused. i dont understand my own mind. i feel so many emotions at the same time and im overthinking everything. how do i change? how do i be better? and recently ive been so fucking insecure of everything about me. my hair. my body. my skin. my face. my tone of voice. my attitude. the way i think. the way i talk. the way i move. the way i write. every. single. thing. about. me. i dont know what to do at this point i just have these moments where in i think my whole life is a mess when its really not. what is this?? i cant handle this anymore. i need it to stop. i want my old life back. i wanna go back to senior high school. i want my old friends. i feel so ugly. i keep comparing myself to every single fucking girl i see or know. why am i like this? i hate it. i need help. who do i ask?? i can rant like this all day but im starting to cry again bye.