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Another day, another dollar. The new fear that my brain has unwittingly attached itself to is that my triglyceride is too high and I will pass away from liver damage. Though that is not true, after getting my blood test results and seeing my triglyceride levels were higher (161) than the limit for the healthy level (149), I have felt this nervousness that I can't explain. It actually has really boosted the level of annoying I present. Every conversation around food with me around just always seems to orbit my triglycerides because of how convinced I am that they can't get any higher. I think it is just another aspect of this lifelong health paranoia that I have had. Whether it be pollen, dust, toxic shock syndrome, a new disease I find out about, or, the newly self-discovered, triglyceride levels I have, I am constantly nervous about a new thing that could give me a painful and horrible death in my body. This doesn't even touch the fact that high levels of triglycerides has the chance to lower my chance of getting on hormone replacement therapy, I am just very perturbed constantly. A lot of these specific things are probably not even going to be what takes me out of commission, funnily enough. It's probably going to be touching too much receipt ink or something I am not even actively aware of. It is kind of funny that I was bothering my mother at dinner about food and drinks because I kept thinking about this small thing (09/03/2024). — Mars ᓚᘏᗢ |
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Bisa
I can actually relate a lot! Going through a similar thing myself right now. I had a really bad panic attack a few months ago, and ever since I've been extremely worried about my cardiac health, due to stinging chest pains I've had over the past couple of years. Always being hyper-aware of my heart beat following the panic attack means my anxiety has been through the roof, and on a hair trigger, with every little thing in my body causing me worry. I've gotten a blood test, and my values are actually pretty good considering my extremely unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle, but it, alongside Germany passing its self-determination act recently helped me get a lot of motivation to finally start getting healthy again, both for transition and my own sake.
If you're interested I'd love to try and give you some tips, just add and DM me! :)
That's extremely real of you, honestly! I literally worry that every bit of sugar I eat raises it, it's like a specter that haunts me. And also haunts the people around me because I don't shut up about it haha
— Mars ᓚᘏᗢ
by ♡ Mars/Nini(妮妮) 🇹🇼 ♬; ; Report