Love sucks and I hate it, so why do I want it?

Long story short, I have a crush on a guy in my guitar class. He plays guitar, bass, and drums. He also will occasionally sing during those required class performances and his voice is beautiful. But he seems like he's on a completely different plane of existence from me. He's cooler, he's friends with pretty much everyone, he's attractive, and he's talented. He seems so effortless and I'm just not. I'm not anywhere near his skill level, I'm awkward and sweaty, and not effortless in the slightest. Above all else, he has a type. Thin goth girls. I am none of those things. I'm chubby, a trans dude, and I'm not goth. I'm more just a jeans and band tee kind of guy who will match the accessories and makeup (if I wear it) to the shirt I'm wearing. I don't really have a set aesthetic like everyone else seems to. I'm just kind of here. I am nothing like these girls he digs, and it kind of hurts, really bad. I hate it, but I can't help but feel bad. I know I'm not getting a date to prom, or homecoming, or the winter formal. But I want one, I want it so fucking bad it's not even funny. I think I just want that true experience of going to a dance with someone who actually likes me, and not just for the sake of the dance. I don't know anymore.